Im back... I hope!!

Ok my plan for writing in this blog did not go as planned but as I remembered my once, desire & commitment to it I decided I should try again. Well Im not going to write to much tonight being that I have this horrible cold and although have been taking every kind of natural remedy heard of to alleviate this sickness Im still sick. Its been 4 days now since it started so Im just praying it will pass soon. I am 22 weeks pregnant now and growing also I have found out Were HavINg A BOY!!! Praise the Lord all else is well. I will end with that little catch up but Lord willing will be writing again soon!!

Pregnancy

Today I am 12 weeks 2 days pregnant! Praise The Lord! Today I have an appointment with a midwife to talk about if I will go with her or continue with my Dr, that delivered my son Danzig 10 years ago. I am wanting to go the natural route this time and not have any pain medication during my delivery, Lord willing. I just feel if God sees fit to have me go through this pain then he will help me through it. My mom delivered all 6 of us with no pain meds and if she can do 6 I can at least do 1 right! But thats still a long time away Im just going to take it day by day learn and do all I can to do whats best for me and this new being growning inside me! Im thankful to God that he has taught me this truth that children are a blessing from Him. Psalms 127:3 I once did not feel this way I thought it was so easy to have children that I had to be on birth control because I didnt want anymore. So for 8 1/2 years after Danzig me and Zel agreed not to have any more. Right up untill I had Danzig I thought I was going to tie my tubes and the my Dr. agreed to do it but always asked me if I was sure, then at that last minute when I saw Danzig I said No, dont do it. Im glad now, I didnt. This is my third pregnancy back in July of 2011 I had a miscarrige I was only about 2 months and a 1/2 but it was pretty hard. Its the Lord that opens and closes the womb. He is sovereign and knows what is best for us. Losing that 2nd baby did teach me something, never take for granted Gods blessings. I chose to get off the birthcontrol 1 year & 1/2 ago, nervous scared of having an other, but I thought if the Lord sees us fit to raise another child He will give us the strength. In the back of my mind I was so fearful thinking that it would happen because I was off the birth cont. not fully trusting in God so I was really hoping I wouldnt have another. When I found out I was pregnant I was happy but still scared not really believing children are a blessing. My pastor Tim Conway from Grace Community Church preached a really good sermon on this but as the Lord begain to search my heart I was trully not fully convinced. Then, after going to the Dr. and finding out there was no heart beat and that the baby was not growing anymore I was confused and shocked. I did not expect to hear that news. I thought I was in control but I am not. The Lord has sustained me through it now more appreciative of life and displeased with my own thoughts. I repented and prayed that the Lord would grow my faith. Would save this baby. That was not His will. After the miscarrige it was scary to try again not knowing what would happen but I know my God is good these are the trials in life that we must face fully trusting in Him, knowing he knows what is best for his children. Christ is my help I must keep my eyes fixed upon him and trust in the Lord for all. Im 3 months pregnant and still need alot more to go, but I am trusting in Him, and I know he will only give me what I can bare and nothing more. Again I say Praise the Lord, praise the Lord!

Truth

Galatians 5:22-24 But the fruit of the spirit is LOVE, JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE, KINDNESS, GOODNESS, FAITFULNESS, GENTLENESS, SELFCONTROL; AGAINST such things there is NO law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.~ I've been reading in Galatians and I just love this truth that God so plainly teaches how to know if we are walking in the spirit ~ any other conduct that we have not agreeing with these is against the spirit. If you read a little further up in Galatians 5:16 it will tell you those exact acts to show were walking in the Flesh. Praise God for His word! The other day I did not have gentleness with my son as I easily got frustrated with him while homeschooling and as I walked away from him, Now in my room, alone, the Lord convicted me how harsh I was being. So i got on my knees and repented asked that Christ would give me gentleness and help me. And I went to Danzig and asked him to forgive me. The Spirit is our helper for those who have Christ, the spirit will bring us to conviction he will lead us to truth. Today I pray God will hep me to walk in the Spirit and remember His truth, I know He will give me victory over sin I know HE is sanctifying me more and more each day to be like Christ. Christ is my Hope! He has given me this desire to homeschool my son and will help me and will use it for His glory! It is not always easy but anything worth doing and benefitting from is not going to be, God is my strength. Galatians 6:9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, IF we do not give up!

Wanted to write in this Blog everyday but as Im starting to realize its not that easy! Yesturday my day begun fast. Woke up prayed, made breakfast for Danzig my 10 year old son that I homeschool then we started our work. It really is a blessing to homeschool I praise the Lord we live in a country that Im free to do this. Im using a curriculum called Switched on School house that has been such and a blessing. At the begaing, starting our school was a little overwhelming but this program has really got us organized and learning. We start with bible first, language arts, math, history, science. Sometimes we dont do all those everyday if Danzig has a test that way he can study more. Of course our homeschool can be a little more tweaked to help Danzig succeed so there is a lot more a want to do. ~ Around 11:30 I had a hair appointment for highlights and color. Finished about 1:30 and Danzig finished school around 12,then he had an eye doctor appointment so off we went to make that. At 4 I met my Mom for an early dinner and my sister Elena and my niece Ashly ended up going as well, so that was fun. Got home around 5:30 did a few things around the house then had to go cut a friends husbands hair at her house at 6:30 got back around 8 p.m. after picking up some whataburger for Zel my husband. So in a nut shell that was my day. Whoa ~ Some people ask me what do you do all day being a stay at home mom. I guess thinking theres not alot I do believe me there is always alot to do so much you can fill your time with doing that, you do to much and not spend as much time with the Lord as you need to. About 2 mornings ago I heard somthing on the radio to make me stop and think "Are you walking with God or expecting HIM to walk with you doing what you want?" Today pausing before I started my day I thought on the Lord and said how can I know if Im trully walking with Him? ~ Luke 9:23 and He said to all, "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross DAILY and Follow me. I thought am I doing this daily, denying myself? I am Christian I want to serve the Lord forever, but I am in this sinful world that can easily lead me astray if I follow it or even follow myself. I must follow Jesus. I am going to be honest in these blogs and as an open book talk about my daily struggles, Lord willing (daily):)! There is no excuse for sin, to continue in it, but I do sin, if I told you I didnt I would be lying. BUT through Jesus he has freed me from the power of it. In Romans 6:14 it says ~ For sin will have no dominion over you, since you are not under law but under grace. Praise God there is hope. I must rememember this and daily die to my own sinful desires and follow Christ and be a doer of his word!! Yesturday instead of getting home and just sitting on the couch after my day I should have picked up His word but I thouught Im tired, being pregnant is NO excuse :) If i feed my body i must feed my soul! He will give me the strength I need, he is my hope, and all i need!

To Live is Christ

My old life & New life in Christ!

I really wanted to start this blog to share my testimony of what Jesus Christ has done in my life and is still doing. If you told the person from 3 years ago that used to be me that this is who I would be Now, I would laugh and walk the other way in disbelief. But God has given me a new life in Jesus Christ. As John Newton said ~ "I am not what I ought to be, I am not what I want to be, I am not what I hope to be in another world; But still I am not what I once USED to be, and by the GRACE of GOD I am what I am" I praise the Lord for His saving grace, for the cross that Jesus carried for me,that my sins past, present and future are nailed to the cross and I bear them no more. Gods wrath for me has been satisfied through the blood of His Son Jesus. 3 years ago I was a thief, a drunk an idolater, useless to God a daughter of disobedience following the prince of the power of the air.(Ephesians 2:2) Hopeless and lost 30 years of my life I tryed to change my self always thinking Im gonna stop being like this, acting like this, getting in trouble. I was brought up in a church went to church Sundays, Wednesdays, Friday for prayer. I was baptized at about the age of 7 but as the years went by and I got older what I thought I learned was snatched away by the evil one. (Matthew 13:18) I quickly forgot most of what I learned. Whats funny is I did remember some verses and thought it was enough to say I believed so my heart decieved me into thinking I really did believe. (John 3:16) I left home at the age of 14 I stayed with some friends my older sisters and brothers or sometimes in the street then I lived in more sin with a guy for 4 years. To think I had a nice comfortable, warm, bed at home but I loved my sin to much to give it up. My mom is a single parent my Dad left her with 5 kids 1 was already grown and married. I think this had a lot to do with my bringing up, my anger I store up, and my hate for Church because he claimed to be a christian. I saw a lot of things growning up in church gossip, clicks that if you weren't like them then they didnt talk to you. There were other things that a true church should not let go on But I know now, as Jesus said "You will know them by their fruit" Matthew 7:16 ~ So I went on my merry way thinking I was content and did not need God or religion. As the years went by I just got dumber and dumber got in trouble with the law and my idolization with Rock music grew and grew at about 26 years of age I thought maybe I do need to go to church? Maybe God can help me? So for 4 years I went on and off (when ever I didnt have hangover) to a big entertaining church. This started making me think, maybe I would go to heaven. After all I saw some people that I knew there that were doing the same things I was doing getting drunk and remaining the same. I didnt know 1 Corinthians 6:9 and I still continued to decieve myself that I believed and that was enough. At about 29 this is when God started opening my eyes to see the truth and the depravity in my heart. I was arrested for evading arrest because I had a warrant I didnt want to go to jail so I ran. This put me in jail for about 2 days then my mom took me out because my husband was to upset and frustrated with me. I got probation for a year and had to pay a lot of fines. Being a mother of a 6 year old and a wife I started seeing how horrible I was to both of them, how miserable I was and how much I needed to change. I started reading the bible and God started showing me that only he could change me and that I didnt have to fix my self first, then come. He said "Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest" Matthew 11:28 ~ I always thought deep down inside that I was to messed up that I had screwed up to many times and that God would not want me. But He started showing me the truth, about His son, about His word, and I cried that he would change me because I was so tired of being me and I needed His help. 3 years later that person is dead(2Corinthians 5:17)~ JESUS CHRIST saved me! The desires I once had, the things I once loved and that I was inslaved to he took away. ~ Christ changed my heart and gave me a knew one and his spirit now lives in me. (Ezekiel~ 37:26) That old self has been crucified with Christ it is no longer I who live But Christ who lives in me and the life that I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God who LOVED ME and GAVE HIMSELF FOR ME!! Galatians 2:20

Newbie

Today I decided to start a Blog I am new at all this and it took me about 1 hour and a half to finnaly get something started and written. :) Since it took me so long I dont have to much time to write But I just wanted to say hello!!