Pregnancy

Today I am 12 weeks 2 days pregnant! Praise The Lord! Today I have an appointment with a midwife to talk about if I will go with her or continue with my Dr, that delivered my son Danzig 10 years ago. I am wanting to go the natural route this time and not have any pain medication during my delivery, Lord willing. I just feel if God sees fit to have me go through this pain then he will help me through it. My mom delivered all 6 of us with no pain meds and if she can do 6 I can at least do 1 right! But thats still a long time away Im just going to take it day by day learn and do all I can to do whats best for me and this new being growning inside me! Im thankful to God that he has taught me this truth that children are a blessing from Him. Psalms 127:3 I once did not feel this way I thought it was so easy to have children that I had to be on birth control because I didnt want anymore. So for 8 1/2 years after Danzig me and Zel agreed not to have any more. Right up untill I had Danzig I thought I was going to tie my tubes and the my Dr. agreed to do it but always asked me if I was sure, then at that last minute when I saw Danzig I said No, dont do it. Im glad now, I didnt. This is my third pregnancy back in July of 2011 I had a miscarrige I was only about 2 months and a 1/2 but it was pretty hard. Its the Lord that opens and closes the womb. He is sovereign and knows what is best for us. Losing that 2nd baby did teach me something, never take for granted Gods blessings. I chose to get off the birthcontrol 1 year & 1/2 ago, nervous scared of having an other, but I thought if the Lord sees us fit to raise another child He will give us the strength. In the back of my mind I was so fearful thinking that it would happen because I was off the birth cont. not fully trusting in God so I was really hoping I wouldnt have another. When I found out I was pregnant I was happy but still scared not really believing children are a blessing. My pastor Tim Conway from Grace Community Church preached a really good sermon on this but as the Lord begain to search my heart I was trully not fully convinced. Then, after going to the Dr. and finding out there was no heart beat and that the baby was not growing anymore I was confused and shocked. I did not expect to hear that news. I thought I was in control but I am not. The Lord has sustained me through it now more appreciative of life and displeased with my own thoughts. I repented and prayed that the Lord would grow my faith. Would save this baby. That was not His will. After the miscarrige it was scary to try again not knowing what would happen but I know my God is good these are the trials in life that we must face fully trusting in Him, knowing he knows what is best for his children. Christ is my help I must keep my eyes fixed upon him and trust in the Lord for all. Im 3 months pregnant and still need alot more to go, but I am trusting in Him, and I know he will only give me what I can bare and nothing more. Again I say Praise the Lord, praise the Lord!